09/01/09

Hearts don’t break even, the song goes. However, when the one you really love makes it abundantly clear that it’s terminally and irrevocably over, hearts just contract to the size of a needle head. In your chest there is a spasm, followed by a stitching and plainly numb sensation.

Where there there used to be a feeling as wide and unlimited as a Black Hole whilst thinking of HER just a day ago, is now one as tight as an ant’s arse - the smallest hole on planet Earth.

And amidst all this, you hope you could just lock yourself up, cry for days, don’t eat, get utterly and totally pissed till you pass out. Then start again. Just like when you were half your present age. The problem here is: you just can’t.

You wake up after having been shit-faced the night before, go to work and life just goes on as it normally would. You just float along. Routine kindly soothes your mind in repetitive distraction - until images of the past with HER instantly flash up; making it abundantly clear that even in this nano-sized bubble underneath your rip cage, someone is residing.